Self-Esteem Issues in BBW

If you experience negative feelings when looking in the mirror or when thinking about your body, especially shame, frustration, or embarrassment, there is a discrepancy between reality and your expectations. That is to say you have an ideal image of the way you should look and you are unhappy because you don’t look this way. The fact is that to value ourselves we first need to accept who we are, irrespective of our weight. There are many plus size women out there who radiate self acceptance and self love and they can truly look great. After all, it’s not your weight that makes you who you are.

However, there are certain thinking errors related to self-esteem in plus size people which should be disputed and modified:

1.  If you see yourself in terms or extremes, for instance fat or thin, you will obviously not be happy with yourself and your body image.

2.  You can pick certain weight ideals from the media and compare to them and in this way too you will be dissatisfied, as these ideals can never be reached.

3.  Or you can go a step further and compare yourself with people around you, especially those traits of which you are not very proud of, neglecting your positive features.

4.  Just like using a magnifying glass, you can focus exclusively on one of your features and exaggerate its importance. Here too the positive aspects in you are disregarded.

5.  Another possibility would be to ignore your beautiful features, being focused only on what you don’t like about yourself.

6.  You can find something that you believe is unattractive in you and start finding other aspects which you previously thought they were OK, but now you generalize thinking they are unattractive too.

7.  Blaming it on the way your body looks for the lack of success in your life is another cognitive error.

8.  Often you may misread what others say about you, believing that they speak anything but nicely about you and especially your appearance.

9.  You may think your body is the one that doesn’t allow you to have a more meaningful life, being promoted, or having a partner, getting married etc.

10.  Your body image may cause you to avoid certain situations, having a negative impact on the quality of your life.


If you think in any of these terms, you have self-esteem issues regarding your weight. You have to observe these thinking patterns, dispute them by writing down pros and cons and find more efficient and balanced thoughts in exchange. There are various different methods for overcoming low self-esteem, the thinking pattern disputation being just one of them. In addition to this, you can try to stop being the person you are not, you can learn to say “no”, you may take responsibility for your actions, help others, allow yourself to make mistakes, and do the things that you love doing as often as possible.

The experiences you live everyday are reflections of what you think you are worth, valuing yourself is a vital aspect for leading a quality life. To have a healthy self-esteem you must be willing do some work, sometimes daily, to change the things you are not happy with, especially your thoughts.

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