Becoming A Fat Admirer – A Very Gradual Evolution
I often look back on my life and recall with interest how my personal preferences evolved into what they are today. I can’t speak for others, but from my own personal experience, I can say that becoming a BBW admirer wasn’t something that happened at a very young age. In my early teens, I seem to recall liking the same kind of girls as my male friends – mainly fairly slender girls, or famous women I saw on TV, from pop stars to TV personalities to models. Sure I always appreciated a woman with curves, but of course I wasn’t alone in that. But then, maybe, big breasts, hips, butts or whatever were things that I did focus on more than my friends, I’m not sure. I seem to remember liking skinny girls but, ultimately, preferring the curvier ones on balance.
I remember in my mid teens having a preference for curves, big breasts particularly, but insisting that they should not be fat. I don’t know if that was because society had drilled it into me that fat was bad, but one thing is for sure, at 16 I didn’t see what was coming in terms of my attraction to the opposite sex. I sensed my tastes were straying from the norm somehow, but I couldn’t quite identify how or why. Even by 20, I didn’t consider myself a fat admirer, although I think I was naturally heading that way without even realizing it.
Yes, I think it was a largely unconscious transition at first. I had always insisted that I preferred girls that were curvaceous “but went in in the middle”, but looking back I see that the barriers in my mind gradually eroded as the years passed. By the end of my teens I was attracted to girls who were actually quite large, I just didn’t see it that way. I put my attraction to them down to their fuller breasts, hips or whatever, treating their plus size shape as acceptable under the circumstances. But all the while my interest in skinny girls was fading.
By my early twenties I finally made the conscious realization that I was becoming something of a BBW admirer. This led to something of a transitional phase. I had consciously broken down the barriers in my mind, and became more and more accepting of increasingly large ladies. At 23, I would look at a 250lb woman and find her attractive in a way I never would have done as a teenager, but still be repulsed by a 500lb SSBBW. Five years later though, 500lb was more than acceptable to me, even if I knew that others around me would ridicule me for it.
It’s hard to say what exactly happened. Was I always an FA at heart, and it just took me many years to appreciate it fully? Did I lean towards BBW because I didn’t have loads of girlfriends and felt it was my best option? Did society’s condemnation of obesity prevent me from discovering my true self until I was almost thirty? I think maybe all of these things and a whole lot more. After all the mind is highly complex and difficult to understand, and I know I am not alone in spending a lot of years discovering my true self where physical attraction is concerned. And slim women? Sure I still like them, just not as much, especially when the lights go out…